Thursday, September 11, 2008

WHATS WITH IN.....GOD BLESS AMERICA ON THIS MEMORABLE DAY..


BEAUTY MAYBE TRULY WITH IN..BUT IS IT WRONG FOR US TO WANT IT TO COME ON THE OUTSIDE SOMETIMES???




OH MY GOODNESS THE FEEDBACK FROM THAT QUESTION WAS SO OFF THE RADAR I COULDNT EVEN DECIDE WHICH TWO COMMENTS TO PUT UP. I SEE THAT QUESTION THAT I ASKED, AND PEOPLE WHO DO THAT IN A WHOLE DIFFERENT LIGHT IN MANY WAYS.. FOR NOW ON YOU GUYS ARE MY "ONLINE CONSULTANTS"..LOL, AND IM GOIN TO READ OVER THOSE COMMENTS AGAIN AND PUT UP THE 2 I FEEL ARE THE MOST INFORMATIVE. WAT WAS SAID IN SOME OF THOSE COMMENTS WERE VERY INFORMATIVE, BUT MORE SO I WAS EXPECTIN PEOPLE TO REPLY WITH THINGS LIKE; "OH THAT PERSON IS A HOE", BUT U GUYS REALLY BROKE IT DOWN AND THAT GOES TO SHOW PEOPLE OUR AGE ARE WAY AHEAD OF OUR TIME. U GUYS WERE SO EFFECTIVE IN YOUR ANSWER I HAVE ANOTHER QUESTION TO ASK, A GENERAL QUESTION THAT SO MANY MALES/FEMALES DEAL WITH ON A DAILY BASIS...
INSECURITY IS A BIG PROBLEM ESPECIALLY AMONGEST PEOPLE IN THEIR ADOLESCENTS. I TRY TO MAKE MO-BARZ UNDERSTAND ALL THE TIME THAT JUS CUZ U HAVE THE HOT BODY WITH THE PRETTY FACE, AND THE FULL HAIR, OR NICE EYES DOESNT MEAN THAT UR LIVIN THE PERFECT LIFE. PEOPLE ARE REALLY GOIN THRU IT, AND ALOT OF THE TIME THE PROBLEMS ARENT PHYSICAL. ALOT OF PEOPLE ARE MENTALLY OFF BALANCE, SOME FEEL THAT HIS OR HER BEAUTY IS A CURSE BECAUE THEY ARE HELD ON A HIGHER PLATEAU, AND SOCIETY MAKES PEOPLE FEEL THAT WHEN U HAVE A CERTAIN LOOK U OFF THE BACK ARE SUPPOSE TO DO CERTAIN THINGS. PRESSURE WEATHER PEER, OR GENERAL BREEDS INSECURITY BECAUSE U WONDER IF U WILL BE ABLE TO DO IT, OR IF U HAVE WAT IT TAKES TO CUT THE MUSTARD.
ITS SO HARD TO OVER COME IT ESPECIALLY IF IT HAS BEEN A PART OF IT FOR UR WHOLE LIFE WEATHER U NOTICED SUMTHIN U BEEN INSECURE ABOUT SINCE U WERE LITTLE, OR PEOPLE MADE U FEEL THAT WAY ALL UR LIFE.. THEN WHEN PEOPLE LIKE FAMILY, AND FRIENDS SAY OH UR "BEAUTIFUL" U APPRECIATE IT BUT UR MIND CANT HELP BUT TO KNO THAT EVEN THO THEY MEAN IT, ITS STILL COMIN FROM PEOPLE WHO KNO AND LOVE YOU SO ALTHOUGH U APRPRECIATE IT FROM THE BOTTOM OF UR HEART, ITS NOT AS EFFECTIVE.
SO I ASK TO ANYONE READING THIS, HOW CAN ONE OVERCOME A LIFETIME OF INSECURITIES OF "THEMSELVES" WEATHER PHYSICAL, OR MENTAL? AND MAKE THEMSELVES SEE THAT
"HEY IM A BEAUTIFUL PERSON, IM DOPE, AND I AM CONFIDENT ENUFF TO LET MYSELF KNO THAT EVERY CHANCE I GET WITHOUT BEIN LOOKED AT AS CONCEITED, OR COCKY"!!!

27 comments:

ariana. said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
SneakerHead said...

Many people want to have that perfect 10 body, but having the nice body, pretty hair and all that doesn't always mean anything. Looks can be decieving, someone may look nice on the outside, but a demon on the inside and vice verse. I don't think it's neccessarily wrong, it's human nature and we can't help but want to look like the people in magazines. I feel all people are beautiful in their own way, and why does beauty always have to be a physical characteristic, what about having a beautiful personality? You know what I mean? And the thing is, that, makeup and all that plastic surgery is the fakeness of why celebs and people in mags are looking good, I'm all about natural beauty and feel people should express it more.

I understand what your saying with this, and glad you posted this blog up. I been insecure my whole life, been put down made fun of just because I'm small for my age. I'm 19, but look younger than I am, and people ask if I eat or some ignorant BS like that. It'a annoying, but know I come to realization that it doesn't mean anything anymore. Many people expect you to have a body like the video girls you see off of t.v. in the music videos. But if you don'thave the nice hair, nice eyes, hourglass body, then your ghost to them. And yes, people our age are WAY ahead of our time. I feel it's a HUGE issue with females especially and feel we have to try a lot harder to impress a guy. Me myself, haevn't been approached by a guy in person only but 2 times. It's really hard to overcome something, especially if people are bugging you about it your whole life. You can overcome it by forgetting, I know it's hard doing that, I myself is having a hard time forgetting it, because I still remember. Have someone talk to you and explain the significance of being insecure and so on. I just learned that I'm not the only one, and I'm not in high school here peer pressure is off the meater. I still have that insecurity about myself but learning that many kids go through this everyday, feeling they need to be excepted. I'm on my own right now and don't care what others say, because I'ma do me, live life the way I want and not pay attention to those people. All they do is try and break you down, and thats what they tried doing to me, but I'm strong as an ox right now. They say if you don't like something about yourself, then change it, but that can be hard, because not everyone can do that. I wish I can weigh a little more but can't, since I can eat more and more and can't gain a pound. All I can say is, keep your head up, don't pay attention, even though it may be hard.

Beautyishername said...

everybody has sumthin special about them its all about confidence. if u believe it within that will show on the outside. just bcuz when u were younger u probably had no swag and was ugly. u can change that easily. just like tha ugly duckling she grew up to b a swan. but it just depends on the person u gotta have faith in urself no one can tell u ur worth it starts wit u. if u cant see it nobody else can either.

Simp said...

shittttt
idk teyana!!.... lol

flynerdsclubuk said...

Hey Teyana, great blog!
You don't have to be beautiful to be attractive. Your mannerisms, ability to converse, put most people at ease when meeting for the first time, will undoubtedly win you more bouquets, than the most beautiful chick on the block.

Although that's the truth, unfortunately alot of girls/women think they need to pose in skimpy outfits on myspace to gain friends. Just continue to focus on what's great about you, there is no way that you have to have your hair, or what colour your eyes should be, there's no beautiful or ugly. Be confident, cause in the end, it's YOUR life, don't let anyone make you feel like you need to be something you're not just to attract attention from the guys.

Teyana, You're a great role model for us young women, young women all over the world, and here in London too. You have your own style, grace & personality which alot of girls will see and emulate because they see how conifdent you are without trying to conform to what is beautiful.

We should all be like you, and find our OWN beautiful. It's our life and we shouldn't spend it changing who we are for some guy or to fit in.

jendae said...

i feel that regardless of who one is, one will always have insecurities.whether they be physical,emotinal,or mental.one has to be able to accept themselves for who they are...be able to look in the mirror and say,as lil wayne did, "im me".
until one learns to accept themselves for who they are and learn to not be so concerned with what others think...their powerful insecurities will be everlasting!

Beans A.K.A. BackPack Kid said...

I think that you will always insecure about something but how you overcome it is by learning that no matter what you do there are always negative people, and you have to realize that what they say does not matter to you or effect you unless you let it effect you.

.schrody. say what? said...

I think the only time we as people are insecure Is when we feel someone else, has or Is something better than us. Security Is being aware of the greatness around you, but being confident enough to know what you got Is great in It's own way. It's not something that has a one, two step process to achieving, It's something every individual has to figure out how to do on they're own.

Sk8er Gurl of S.Kz said...

I think dat da only way u can really get over your insecurities whether bein mental r physical is by acceptin yourself 4 who u r n not lettin people get 2 u wen dey say dat your fashion sense is wrong r dat ur ugly r sumthin....I jus feel like people put people dwn because dey r insecure so u shouldn't listen 2 a person dats not 2gether they self jus b yo self n do u n neva let sumone put u dwn cuz we are all beautiful 1 way r anotha....



Myspace.com\shaijohnson

PHATROYALTY said...

okay T..."HOW CAN ONE OVERCOME A LIFETIME OF INSECURITIES OF "THEMSELVES" WEATHER PHYSICAL, OR MENTAL? AND MAKE THEMSELVES SEE THAT
"HEY IM A BEAUTIFUL PERSON, IM DOPE, AND I AM CONFIDENT ENUFF TO LET MYSELF KNO THAT EVERY CHANCE I GET WITHOUT BEIN LOOKED AT AS CONCEITED, OR COCKY"

FIRST AND FORMOST...A PERSON MUST HAVE SELF RESPECT AND SELF LOVE. ME BEING A PLUS-SIZED PERSON ALL MY LIFE WENT THROUGH SO MUCH TRIALS AND TRIBULATIONS BECAUSE OF MY WEIGHT. MY FATHER USED TO CALL ME NAMES AND IM NOT GONE EVEN FRONT THAT ISH HURTED LIKE CRAZY YO. THIS CAUSED ME TO BE ANTISOCIAL AND VERY SHY. AS I GREW OLDER I STARTED MAKING FRIENDS AND I STARTED TO RELAX..I LEARNED TO LOVE MYSELF, FCK IT I STARTED TO FEEL MYSELF AND I NOTICED THAT IN ORDER FOR SOMEONE TO NOTICE YOU SOMEONE TO LOVE YOU..YOU HAVE TO LOVE YOURSELF..IT STARTS FROM YOU..MY CONFIDENCE.. ME BEING BEAUTIFUL FROM INSIDE OUT WITH MY PHAT AND ALL AND LETTING PEOPLE KNOW THIS IS ME "PHAT KRYSTAL" HELPED ME TO LOVE MYSELF. NOW...YOU CANT SAY SHIT ABOUT ME OTHER THAN "YOU A PHAT PRETTY ASS GIRL!!!" AND I LUVV IT WHWN YA CALL ME BIG SEXII...LMAO...CONFIDENCE IS BEAUTIFUL BABY.
FOR ANYONE WHO READING THIS AND WENT THRU SUM SELF-RELATED ISSUES...LOOK IN THE MIRROR OR WRIT THIS LINE DOWN EVERY DAY "I AM BEAUTIFUL INSIDE OUT, HAPPINESS STARTS FROM WITH IN"

Yoshi Progetto said...

in the words of Mo Bars
"walk around the room like your the shit girl"
thats how u gotta be!
if you dont think your the shit. no one else will.

but on a serious tip.

i think that insecrurity comes from the perception of beauty which transforms into the media giving off (a) image of beauty.
In america.
To be beautiful you have to be a certain hieght.
a certain weight.
a certain complexion.
hair has to be a certain way.
but thats only what the magazines and the run ways petray.

for a young girl growing up (speically the minority)..for my little sister for an example.
She wants blue contacts.
and she bought a blond hanna montanna wig. (wtf?) my younger sister is 8 and i must say, she is built very nicely.her ass is bigger then mines (serious face) and she thinks that being thick and shorter then most makes her out of shape
[these are the words from her mouth.she's 8]

and why is that?
because in the media, you have all these women thats 120lbs & 6'0. light skin. blue eyes and they are on the run ways & they're in the magazines,they are in the media, giving young girls like my sister left to question their own beauty at such a young age. its horrid.


but then you have mental insecrurity; i feel sorry for those who look in the mirror and hate what they see. i was there once upon a time in my life... but when you think your the shit. thats all that matters. SOMEONE is looking at you like your beautiful, even if it is someone that is SUPPOSE to love you.

girls should always remember that make up is only a source of entertainment for others to enjoy looking at.
make up is only MAKE-BELIEVE.
you shouldnt need it to make believe your beautiful.



_tori nicks

Deon Jatu said...

Insecurity is all in the mind. For a long time i have been insecure about myself in my own world. But around people i hold or put on a vail to shadow my insecurities. I was always teased about being feminine, but hey as long as i know God loves me and that he made me this way im a BEAUTIFUL and WONDERFUL person. I was always told that beauty is in the eye of the beholder and not in humans eyes. So as long as i know that GOd created me to be me im ME. Overcoming insecurities is hard, TRUST ME IT IS. But if you surround yourself with people that love you as much as you love you, you have no problems, but lets be real, when people go out in public and YES they do talk, my mama always said "Baby if they talk about you obviously your doing something right."

Hit me back,
myspace.com/deon_turner

RockStar Deon=The Teen Vice President.

shawny123 said...

I think insecurites will never leave your mind it always in the back of your mind, even if you're you later exscaped "the ugly stage"in your life and people outide of you're family think ur beautiful I kno some part of you will never be completely satisfied.

I think thats why people get out of control with plastic surgery!

Or when girls or boys go to college, they dont kno how to act and become attention wh*res before you kno it. You kno like all they do is go 2 the club and act a damn fool.

I've seen these things happen to people after High school, its so not a good look!

LocalxCelebrity said...

in my opinion, i think that if you dont like something about yourself, then you should change it, once you change it, i'm sure you'll feel a heck of a lot better than you did before, even if that means getting cosmetic surgery, or a gastric bypass, or maybe even something as little as going shoppin and getting a mini makeover, all those things can improve one's self-value because really at the end of the day it doesnt matter WHO said "how beautiful you looked" it always comes back to you, & if you dont feel good about yourself, it will show :|

Carmen Sandiego said...

Daaamn! U gettin deep on us now!! LOL. But you bringing this up further emphasizes this theory I've had for the longest now: pretty people have problems too. I feel like some folks think that just because this chick over here at the club has a bangin body, nice hair (or weave!), the flyest clothes, etc, that she must have this bomb ass life. When in actuality, this beautiful girl that u saw probably had to find a babysitter for her 2 kids, works 2 jobs, rent is due, and then some.


And I also feel like there's pressure to look a certain way like on a constant basis. Like if u take an off day it might be hell for u, because you know you're not gonna get 10 dudes tryin to holla at you if you don't have your weave in and you're just in sweats goin to pump your gas. Which is cool with me, but some ppl crave that attention so much, that they feel they'll die without it even for one day. I have a friend like that. Her looks are very important to her, and she does get hit on by men and has females who are jealous of her, but I wish she could see how irrelevant all of that is. She's had some of the craziest situations happen w/guys which could've been avoided if she would've realized from jump that most of those guys were only after her for her looks and her body. Yet she repeats the same mistakes because she loves the attention!

I think these insecurities can stem from family and friends puttin that pressure on u. Pretty much all of my life I've heard "you're so pretty" etc etc. But with that came all these crazy expectations: you should marry a guy who's an athlete/doctor/somebody with money, you should be an AKA (that's a black sorority for those of ya'll who don't know). I always thought stuff like that was crazy, and I'm always the one to do the complete opposite of what ppl want me to do (I pledged another sorority in college & I DAMN sure don't date guys..LOL), and I'm so glad for that, but you still always have ish like that in the back of your mind and it can get to u if u let it. It's just annoying though!

maybaby5112010 said...

i mean i think thats a issue within ur self i mean yea ppl and society r goin 2 influence wat ya think bcuz they catergorized us in groups and sterotypes they think we belong in but you have 2 kno who u r u cant let society place u somewhere u dont wanna be so u have 2 let ur self kno u r beautiful, smart, u can do anything if u put ur mind 2 it but still without being cocky or concieted. stay true 2 ur self go back 2 the ones gave u the love n support stay humble and love ya self cuz no one can love u if ya dnt love ya self real talk so love god n love ya self
"peace n love"
rev run
aint really of course
but peace my ppl

gmoney225 said...

Just be you your uniqueness is what makes you beautiful so don't worry anybody else says just do you. Peace & Love

CanaryBird said...

For me, it has to do with my faith. As you get older and grow you learn not only things about your faith, but also things about yourself. I believe everything happens for a reason and God doesn't make mistakes. When God created me, he created me in the image that was appealing to Him. So, every imperfection and every detail about me was done because He wanted me to be that way. If God wanted me to have green eyes he would've given me green eyes. If he wanted me to have longer hair he would've given me longer hair. If my imperfections are good enough for Him, why can't my imperfections be good enough for me?

I understand the influence the media has, peer pressure and things of that nature. I've been told I was never and would never be pretty enough. It took me a long time, but I've learned no matter how pretty I was or how smart I was, I would never be enough for some people. I'm learning to accept myself for who I am, what I am, and what I look like. As long as I like who I am, everything will be alright. If I don't like the way I look physically, I'll hit the gym and change it.

As far as insecurities go, they'll always be there. Everyone second guesses themselves every now and again. We're human. No one is perfect. I think you just have to learn to accept who and what you are.

SpiFFSter said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
SpiFFSter said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
SpiFFSter said...

Okay Teyana...
Here it goes...
I believe that everyone has a insecurity ...No matter how beautiful you are or what people think... Some people feel that they are incapable of being attractive as others even when many people tell them differently. You have to carry the "I don't care" and "So what" attitude or persona in order to feel self confident... I know insecurities are in everyone, but I think girls mostly take it the farthest with weight issues and outer beauty. For example... I noticed that if you tell a dude tell a girl that she looking good or she fine....She feels so awesome... Compared to another girl complimenting her.
For people to get over there insecurities it has to click somewhere that, ONE... You are the way you are... No one is going to accept it if you don't accept youself... TWO, you have one life to live , are you going to dwell on the little things or try to make you life interesting no matter what anyone thinks; let the past stay in the past; yuou only have control over the future... THREE, remember confidence is the best thing to wear every single day. If you think you are not worthy, it shows....FOUR, apprecite that you have all your body parts and good health because someone out there has it way worst than you.... Five, not everyone is gonna like you or be attractive to you. But there is someone for eveybody... Lastly six...The worst someone can say is no....so build the confidence up day by day by looking at your inner and outer self with a prayer for your burdens and tell yourself you are beautiful!

Stay Spiffy!
P.S. At first I was thinking that people were biting off of you too hard Teyana, but it is actually giving others a chance to find or reveal the confidence in themselves... You really have people taking chances with their style and their swagger...
once again...Kudos to your effect over our generation, Teyana.

shalasin26 said...

From personal experience, I believe insecurities can not be overcame but there is a way around them.
People use to tell me I was ugly and I was fat, I was even given the nickname of "Shabeast". It truly did hurt to get made fun of and since it happened every day for I don't know how long, it got stuck in my head.
Nowadays I just look at myself and actually see a beautiful girl but of course even though I see that most times I fall back into my insecurities.
There's a mental block that won't breakdown because for so long either yourself or outside sources have gave you so much strife that you no longer feel comfortable in your own skin.
The way I get around my insecurities is I think back on the days when no one affected me. The days I was free as a bird and I didn't even care how I looked. It helps me from day to day.
I think people just have to remember that beauty is in the eye of the beholder. You hold your own beauty in your hands not the rest of the world. See yourself, be yourself, and love yourself.

Domii B. said...

I believe that honestly no one ever really conquers their insecurities. But I do feel that u can get over most by simply learning to love yourself flaws an all because they make u,u. Once u learn to love yourself no matter what anyone says or thinks about u u will learn not to care or put so much thought into ur insecurities.

--day said...

personally, i think that you don`t really over-come insecurities. like maybe the older you get the more you get to know yourself and you get comfortable in your own skin. then you know, you get more confidence and you start to tell yourself, "i am dope and i am beautiful". you have to be a strong person, and be like "yea i hear you talking mess about me, but so what, i love me". cause some people be like "oh i don`t care what no one thinks" and for some ppl that may be true, but i think everyone cares to a certain extent what someone thinks, it`s human, nothing wrong with that. whether it`s your parents, a bf/gf, family members, you know, you`re gonna care what they think. everybody is judgemental, it`s not right but we all do it. i know i`m kind of getting off subject but, if anybody wants to build the confidence up, get to KNOW yourself, that`s where it starts, once you know who YOU are, everything else will fall into place. concentrate on how you look from your point of view. that`s all that matters, nothing else. turn all your negatives into positives. cause you are you no matter what.

know it. embrace it. love it.

--day

Zachary said...

As for not being looked at as conceited or cocky, it's all in how you present yourself. There's a big difference between "I look good," and "I look better than you."


Same goes for insecurities. Rather than thinking "I'm the best," or "I'm the worst," how about simply saying: "I just am."

Rose Cine said...

well as human beings we are never satisfied. we always want more but the key is to know that all obstacles in life and all negativity has to be turned into something positive.
when I'm not feeling to HOT or when I'm under pressure based on something as finite as looks, I like to reassure myself. I do things like pamper myself extra when I have a big date or treat myself to a new pair of shoes when I feel insecure. I do that to make it a habit to love myself and disregard the little voices that may say I'm not good enough or smart enough. Damn it Im awesome! and a new pair of Choo's is AWESOME!

Oh and I know people dont really believe it but doing something nice for someone else always makes me feel ecstatic and happy about myself! Trust me it works....

rosezcine.blogspot.com

reneg8soulja said...

insecurity is plain human nature. people look in magazines, watch tv, can't help but to, entertainment and media are apart of life. but all those stars we see are airbrushed to the fullest, weaves, crazy makeup. u think when they take all that makeup/ weave/ false eyelashes off they don't feel twice as insecure as the average person. cus they so used to all these pics bein seen with them lookin perfect. i dig what T said about beautiful people have a lot of insecurites too. the prettiest people do the ugliest things. all my life people told me im above average in all areas, beauty, brains whatev, so they enforced such higher standards on me. when i wanted to put color in my hair, or express myself with chains/clothing, they always told me you too pretty for all of that, u dont need all of that. for me it wasnt even bout the clothing, it was about self-expression. guys i dated just wanted to cash out on me . buy me phones, cars etc. cus they felt that was what was expected to be with a pretty girl. but i couldn't except none of that cus i felt like i wanna be with you cus of you, not cus what u can do for me. you know everybody hating, cus they see me, and they expect that cus of my looks, im just gonna be taken care of my whole life. and all these girls out here just letting guys cash out on them, thats they business, but i just wanted to show peepl let peepl know that you can be independent, and looks and got nothing to do with my independence, im independent, cus im a strong, black, woman and one day when i have a daughter, i want to be the example that she can look up to, instead of looking up to these girls in mags and on tv!